Sneak peek into an estranged world. Cheers!

Posts tagged ‘dumb’

Smartass or not so smart?

Being born and raised in Lebanon, I learnt that nothing stays safe unless you keep an eye on it or make sure it can’t be stolen, from pens to lighters all the way to bigger objects such as motorbikes and cars.

For the bigger objects, thieves usually carry them out of the place before figuring out how to use them or unlock them. Take for example a motorbike, whether it be a vespa or a heavy Harley, most bikes have a switch to lock the front wheel so the robber wouldn’t be able to roll it away.

Another thing that most people use is a rope padlock to make sure the wheel can’t be rolled down on a street or any other way; so most people, especially those that have those small vespas (which account for more than cars in Beirut) use the padlock on a ring fixed to the ground, or any other object to make sure no one would walk by and carry it away.

So walking around bliss street the other day I had to stop in my footsteps and walk back to make sure I got this picture of an extremely smart Lebanese man’s vespa, which is parked in front of AUH.

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Pretty easy to carry away don’t you think?

I might be a bit bias but I’m not exactly sure how this guy’s logic works. And found it too funny not to share.

Have a great weekend!

T.

Dear Lebanese

Lebanon, land of geniuses. No really! I think it would take a stupid person ages to think before he manages to remember and clean road sewages from tree leaves before winter; probably a couple of years. As for us Lebanese, it’s been hundreds of years (well at least since sewages were invented), and we still haven’t figured it out (obviously!).

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Cats sick in the tunnel leading from the south to beirut


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Original comeback from Lebanese jokes

So as usual,  second rain in the year,  roads are blocked with inimaginable amounts of water and waste. And I’ve been desperately trying to get home. 37 minutes for 3.9 meters (literally,  I went out of the car to measure).

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Lebanon transformed into a huge parking

So now, dear Lebanese, I would like to explain something to you; It’s the concept of the honk: a honk is a device used only in cases of emergency, to tell the other driver you are passing him, in case another car didn’t see you, and sometimes to swear at a “conducteur du dimanche” aka dumb drivers.
Pressing your horn continuously will not make traffic disappear, or suddenly open the road for you, or even make your car grow wings to fly over so said traffic. All you’ll manage to do by that is annoy other drivers that are stuck in the same mess, get many swear words directed at you, or the finger, and of course, hurt your ear drums.

As for the water floods? I have no idea how to explain it to you, it’s logic; but hey we consider ourselves geniuses, so there is probably a undisclosed miracle that we will be able to realize by not learning from past mistakes.
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P.S: students from the Lebanese college of sciences and law; you will need your bathing suit to get to class tomorrow!

Dear readers, I beg of you to excuse the harshness of this post. But someone had to say it.

So now let’s look a bit at a few posts from Facebook. Most of them are unfortunately boring and expected:

First post nagging about the traffic (typical)
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But the second one is interesting (Translation: You kept on nagging where is the rain. Well here it is, and now you’re flooded, have a nice swim!). I agree you do have a point dear friend, but hey you’re thousands of miles away, I’m not sure you’re allowed to nag.

But this post, oh this one is an original! I simply love it. S.N my friend you have outdone yourself!
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For once someone is being honest about what should be done instead of simply nagging (Though catching a ferry to work should be interesting – I’m just saying).

So welcome to winter dear Lebanon, I hope you know how to swim!

T.

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